September 23, 2019 had been on my calendar for months. MONTHS, Y’ALL! Well, that day is always very decorated on my calendar because it's my birthday, but this year was special. This year, September 23rd was the last birthday in my 20's & most importantly, the first day of my new company. Everything was planned down to which heels I’d wear to the official launch party that night at a gorgeous rooftop restaurant overlooking Charlotte. All the women whose products are in this season's boxes would be there to celebrate, there was a step and repeat, a photo booth, a palm reader, fancy little cookies with our logo on them...it was going to be perfect. I had a TV appearance first thing that morning to really kick off launch day, a quick trip to the fulfillment center to see all of the boxes be shipped out, and then to the party location, Fahrenheit, to EXTRA up our room. Instead... I spent the day throwing (up) anything but a party.
I got the stomach flu and the day I had been dreaming about all year long, and had worked SO HARD for... was not going to turn out the way I had always envisioned it. I. WAS. DEVASTATED. My phone kept going off with phone calls, texts and emails, all wishing me a "Happy Birthday!" or "Happy Launch Day!", but I couldn't even bear to read them as I was too busy drowning in my own self pity. I mean there were 365 to 1 odds of me getting violently ill on this day...but it happened. To me. On the launch of my company. On my birthday. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?? WHY did this happen? Why did this happen TO ME??? Y'all I was past "oh woe is me" and in full on "The world is working against me, I have the worst luck, I am such a victim" mode. And then I rolled over in bed and on my night stand saw the spine of the book 'Lean In' by Sheryl Sandberg (which was a gift to me from my friend Jess, who was ironically our 100th subscriber..coincidence? I THINK NOT!) and it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. Sheryl, (Facebook's COO) wrote this book after she lost her husband unexpectedly. ON VACATION. This woman went on a vacation with her family, she had planned it, she had looked forward to, she had gotten excited for it...and then her husband DIED ON THAT TRIP. And here I am, laying in bed crying and feeling sorry for myself all while throwing up every 5 minutes all because what..I got sick? I had to cancel a launch party?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME SISTER??? Sheryl didn't lose herself in her self pity! She picked herself up, processed her emotions, and wrote a damn book about it! You just lost a party. The launch still happened. I allowed myself the rest of the day to mourn the loss of the launch day I dreamed of but I promised myself I would wake up the next day and thrive. So I did.
The following day I woke up, went to the fulfillment center and got shipping back on track. I helped the team there fill every box, seal them shut and labeled them all to be shipped out to the 172 customers we had so far. As I watched the boxes pile up on the pallet, get wrapped up and wheeled out to be shipped, I, for the first time since I started all this, got tears in my eyes as I was finally seeing all the hard work I had put in come to fruition.
Here they are, the boxes that were just an idea a few months ago, here they are full of products all made by the most impressive, ambitious, kind, loving, amazing women, and here they go being shipped out to people who spent their hard earned money on something we all created. It was a moment I will never forget. A moment of pure self love. I shared this moment with no one but myself, exactly the way I was supposed to. You see, if launch day happened the way I had planned it, I would have only spent an hour or two at the fulfillment center. I would have been preoccupied with thoughts of that days details, I would have been rushing everything so that I could hurry and get out of there to go get things ready for the party. If I didn't pack all those boxes, I wouldn't have made sure those boxes were perfect. I wouldn't have read every shipping label and felt such gratitude towards each name I saw on them. I wouldn't have realized that the universe wanted me to SEE what I worked so hard for instead of just celebrating it. And in that moment I saw the lesson. I was able to say wow...I am so grateful for that stomach flu. I am so grateful I could see this, I could be here.
This rush of gratitude and perspective made me think I needed to finally check my phone. I looked at the list of 60+ text messages and 100+ emails with a little bit of trepedation, thinking people were going to be upset, disappointed, or even angry that the party was cancelled at the last moment, but decided to open them anyway. I opened the first text..then the second..then the third and I realized the little company I had created to support other business owners ended up supporting me. No one was angry about the cancellation. Not. One. Person. Instead of pointing out the inconvenience on them, they asked about me. They bought & shared my boxes. They checked on me. They showed up for something much more important than a party. They showed up for me. For SurSHE. This dream of mine, where I just really wanted to support other people, has turned into a powerful movement of all of us supporting each other. THANK YOU!
Moral of the story is, shit happens. But when you shift your perspective and realize nothing happens to you, it all happens FOR you... life makes so much more sense. I’m still crushed I missed my party and my 29th birthday was spent praying to the porcelain gods but that one year anniversary is gonna be FIRE y'all!